Does the carpet match the drapes?

In this day and age it's difficult to leave important questions unanswered. With the advent of information technologies and the National Institute of Health pumping billions of dollars a year into health related research, science has found new and exciting terrain to explore. Much the same, my own quest for profundity and stimulation pushes me to ask questions far more pertinent than the average researcher. And lately, one question has sat with me at the helm of my vessel, which to my dismay, it seems there is no definitive answer to. That is, what's the color down there? And why isn't the same on top?

In my experience, I've not known many woman to match (Sorry guys, I don't look in the locker room). Lately I'm shocked to find anything whilst exploring the yoni these days, but I'll not digress into a stolen Frank Moody topic. In fact, in my brief research, and by brief I mean I read a bunch of blogs from people wondering the same thing, I've uncovered that more often than not the color isn't the same. Lately, I've been shocked to meander into the under-realm of some reds to find brown, and some brunettes to find black. I don't know about blondes, it's been a while since I've been with a real one. But to say the least, is it unreasonable to expect some congruity? Apparently I'm not alone in thinking this since now there's even a company called Betty Beauty selling pubic hair dying product which I will freely promote. I'd love to see some green around St. Patty's day, wouldn't that be lovely?

Since I started this inquiry with science in mind, I figured somewhere someone with the means to do so would have actually found out the genetic link between hair color on all parts of the body, if any. NOPE. I scoured the literature databases (I can do that cause I'm in college and I know shit) searching every result of the keyword Pubic Hair and the only somewhat relevant paper I could find came from the 1976 Journal of Forensic Science:

And did you know that the probability of pubic hairs being similar when compared from random samples is higher than that of scalp hair? As a former forensic intern I found the conclusion of the paper interesting and encouraging, stating that "if one human pubic hair is found to be similar to at least one of a group of six to eleven mutually dissimilar hairs from a given source, the probability of that hair originating from another source is 1 in 800." So, if you're going to commit a crime that involves taking your pants off, do what you can not to leave any pubes behind. Furthermore, I found that there are all these wonderful ways to characterize your pubes:

My favorite is Characteristic J: Texture

• Smooth
• Medium
• Fibrous 
• Granular

While informative and interesting, this offers nothing to the question of what genetics actually determine weather we're matched or staggered. Understandably so, the human genome project has been put to a few slightly more important uses, but in this day and age who's to say what research is really important anyway. I'll stick to the field research but I encourage any scientific exploration on the matter. Until then, play curiously.

Follicularly uniform,

Bloom