Why-ties?

Of all the antiquated, obscure, and downright ridiculous social norms that have come and gone over centuries of "gentlemanly" dress, why the hell is the "tie" still a mandatory centerpiece of dressing well. I've been on this rant for years now and most people respond in exactly the same way, which is, "what's wrong with ties?" I'll tell you what's wrong with ties. They're POINTLESS. I honestly just don't see the need to pay $50 dollars for an oversized, tastefully designed, silk napkin on my chest. 

I understand how the modern dress shirt without a tie just looks bland and unsophisticated. But in nearly 100 years of tie wearing idiocracy why has no one redesigned the dress shirt to look good without a tie? If those people on project runway can make dresses out of twizlers, why not a tieless business suit? 

It's just so ridiculous to think that people can actually pass judgment on you because of what kind of tie you have one. There are actually people who pick out a presidents tie color because they need to make sure he looks "strong" or "compassionate" or "intelligent." What ever happened to actually being all of those things and proving it with what you say and not how you dress. I'll be the first to admit that I dress to make a statement every day. But why be forced to make the same statement everyone else is making only with a slightly different shade of maude? I just don't see the point. They're overpriced, guaranteed to get ruined, and a waste of time. Sure, chicks think they're sexy and dudes think they're classy but I'm pretty sure that if all you society conditioned posers never saw a tie in your life until now you'd all be like, WTF is that ish?

I'm always tempted to show up to a job interview without one. I don't think anyone would say anything. I'm charming enough as it is and damn well dressed to begin with. So really, when you've got all that going for you, who needs ties?

Better on top,

Bloom

p.s. Bowties are legit.