Going Green with Germany.

On a scale of 1 to awesome, Germany's environmentally conscious engineering approach reaches a peak output of Karate Kid fight scene +/- a Hasselhoff residual constant. That's pretty friggin' awesome.

It is no secret that the Germans have an incredible ability to defy all odds of engineering and economics to create some of the most unbelievable yet incredibly expensive innovations that are just so much cooler than you. Damn socialists!

So as an homage to one of the greatest nations on the planet, the following are just a few examples of the most awesome German design projects with a touch of Green. Hold on to your bratwurst.

First up, the Germans have a long history of successfully blowing shit up, and as I always say, nothing environmentally friendly is worth doing if it doesn't involve explosions. But, amazingly, German scientists have turned to a recently explored class of materials called tetrazoles to make safer, more environmentally friendly explosives. Two totally awesome things in one! How convenient.

How about a 235 mpg hypercar from Volkswagen? Well, the L1 is set to hit production in 2010, but with limited demand for black phalic automobiles, you'd better act quick cause these bad boys don't stand a chance out on the Autobahn.

Now try this one on for size. Instead of tearing down those big ass ugly water towers that they use out in the sticks or in some parts of Jersey, the Germans decided that these towers can be made into splendid, not so little, environmentally friendly homes... out of water towers! Put that in your corn cob pipe and smoke it.
Where could they possibly go next? How about embryonic stem cells from your Balls. That's right. German scientists claim to have transformed testicular cells obtained from male mice into embryonic stem cells. There's no telling what this really means for humans but this puts us one step closer to being able to buy a real life cloned Jessica Alba vagina. "Hey honey, yours is great but how about trying this one on for me?"

This is only a glimpse into the world of German technologies. Needless to say it seems that after two failed attempts at taking over the world, Germany has decided they'll just wait it out for the rest of the world to collapse on its own, then blitzkrieg the shit out of it with environmentally friendly bombs and multiple detachable penises, and they'll do it all without patriotism. Deutchland!

Jew for Germany,

Bloom